Where o' where has my little Noah gone?????

So Scott was gone today. He took a gun safety course so he can get his carry permit (don't mess with us!). I decided to tackle the ridiculous amount of laundry that has piled up as I have been going through every possession we own trying to decide if it needs to move with us or move to Goodwill. I ignored the rest of the house including my piano which is literally face down in my dining room because I have taken apart as much as I can (real ivory keys anyone?) without Scott's help. Surprisingly they did not make piano's easy to dismantle especially 125 years ago when everything was solid wood and cast iron. I digress.

So the house looked wrecked and there was laundry all over the living room...I open the front door to tell Reece something and here comes my neighbor with Noah. He is not exactly a warm fuzzy guy and has the most kid unfriendly yard/house because they were not going to have kids but the arrival of their son 7 months ago changed that. We are not real trusting of many of our neighbors as they have a fabulous track record ganging up and judging others. We have been the lucky recipients of this several times. Being that they have no problem calling the police, animal control or CPS none of the people who have been on their receiving end want to confront them because they do not want any of the entities listed above showing up on their doorstep. Now to clarify most people here are really great but it just takes a few to mess with the dynamics. I digress again....

So here comes neighbor guy with Noah. I am freaked out because Noah could wander out in the street, go to someone's house who doesn't know him, fall into one of the many fountains/ponds or meet someone's dog, etc. Luckily Noah decided to take his jeans off before he left so he looked like the white trash child coming home. I thanked neighbor guy and then had a talk with the kids about leaving the front door open. We have three locks and an alarm on the front door but when it is left unlocked and/or open it might as well not be there. So I go upstairs and Google "child GPS". I find a child tracking system and am about to buy it when I hear a commotion in the entry hall. I go out on the landing and there is neighbor guy with Noah....again. His dog had run into my total wreck of a house and he had to come in to get him. His house is always immaculate because they have one child who just started crawling and mom watches him so she picks up as well. Lucky. I can't get a word out before he tells me that Noah (pantless) just walked into his house. He looks at me and says "It better not happen again" and walks out. Luckily Reece figures out that one of their friends had left the side gate open and Noah was going downstairs to the basement, out the back door and through the gate (pantless).

We don't allow anyone to go through the gate for just this reason. We gated the backyard just for Noah and Parker and even tore the stairs off our back patio (we put rails up so no one can fall off) so there was one less escape route. Two of the three gates on the fence are padlocked and the only reason the other isn't is because there is a rock where the post should go that is so large we cannot move it even with an iron pry bar. The way that gate is set the ground actually holds it in place and it is hard to open. Our kids know not to go through it but their friends don't listen because they are...well...kids. As stated above, we have numerous barriers on the front door but none of this matters if people don't shut the door/gate.

So I start to fall apart because it had already been a LOOOOOONG week and I just couldn't take any more. I call Nikki who is one of the calmest people I know and just come apart. She calms me down but I call back a few minutes later and ask her to go with me to neighbor guys house. About 30 seconds later she is on the sidewalk.

So neighbor guy answers the door and comes out onto the porch I start talking about crying my eyes out at the same time. My assumption is that if he could understand medically what is going on with Noah he might have some sort of sympathy for the situation or at least understand where I am coming from. I explain his genetic issues and that we don't know about the future, etc, etc....NF1 and dx Unknown...etc. His expression never changes. It was as if I was being more annoying by taking two minutes from his day. He tells me (as I am standing there in a sobbing heap) that he didn't want Noah to get into his pond and get hurt or drown because then he would get sued. Um...seriously if my son drowned I think that would be the last thing on my mind but I am glad that we are focusing on the issue at hand. I thought Nikki was going to lose a vein in her forehead....she maintained that wonderful British calm though.

Back at my house her awesome mother who is visiting and her equally awesome husband Jason are there...I never asked why but that is just the kind of family they are. Her mom offered to go "batter him". I seriously think she would have. Then she offered to do it the night before she flies home (her husband later confirmed that she would definitely have done it). I send everyone off because it is Nikki's sons birthday and I don't want to rain on their parade.

It is so difficult to have a high needs child and it is SO easy to judge families who have one. I used to when I was younger and stupid. You cannot imagine how emotionally and physically exhausting it is to have to know exactly (I mean exact spot) where your child is 24/7. It also means that things that other families take for granted such as simply going to someone's house, the zoo, restaurants, vacations, etc can sometimes be literally impossible. How fair is that to the other kids? It is very alienating as well. Many people do not want to get involved with your family because there is an added element that most do not understand and are intimidated by. I have been lucky enough to find a few people who are crazy enough to take us on and they know who they are. I thank God every night for these dear friends who reach out to me when they know I am at my breaking point. I have zero family within 800 miles so they have become my adopted family.

To the 2-3 people who read this here is my lesson for the day: Please do not assume that families with kids who are not "normal" have it all under control. If you ask us how things are we will give you the rhetorical "fine". It isn't always fine. Most moms are like me. We don't allow ourselves to sit around and feel sorry for ourselves because that is a bottomless pit and it is easy to fall into. You get up and put one foot in front of the other every day. You go the the endless therapies, see neurologists, psychologists, geneticists, radiologists and pediatricians. You take your child in for more bloodwork, MRI's, test after test after test. You do it because we are mothers and that is what we have to do. Please do not pass judgment when you think we are not being good parents. Sometimes we cannot control the situation or the child....we laugh it off but we are not "fine". If you know of something you think we should look at mention it but don't tell us that we "should try it". Believe me, most of us should have an honorary M.D. with all the research we do on our childrens conditions and many of us know what does and does not work. Don't assume because you read something online or in a magazine that it is the miracle that we missed. By all means mention it but don't force the issue. Please, please, please do something as simple as talking to that person. It is very lonely sometimes. Most of all be grateful for your children. I don't know why I was entrusted with these challenges and I am sure that someday it will be clear. Count your blessings when your child talks during sacrament, school, or primary. At least they are able to do so.