I think I have been blackballed--whatever.

So another baby shower full of people I know and the person is someone that I see a great deal in the summer months...not invited. At first (see other posts) it really bothered me...now not so much. I have come to realize that I am vastly different than most people at church. There are a few who are very much like me in their views and beliefs ( I won't name names because they tend to downplay it) .
I tend to say what I think and I am not a sheep who will follow what someone says without figuring out how it fits into my life. I cannot stand people who judge others because they are not doing what has been stated over the pulpit. What most people don't stop to think about is that sometimes that is impossible. Example: Way back when President Benson urged mothers to not work and come home to their children. My institute teachers mother went back to work right when this was said in General Conference. Many people judged her and talked negatively about this decision. What they were not aware of is that her husband was unable to work because of health issues despite looking fine...he wasn't.
Blanket statements drive me nuts. When I hear in classes that you MUST sustain the local leaders it angers me. I know of many instances where certain people could not do this. Here are several examples: In my stake there was a bishop who molested many boys and was later arrested for solicitation of a minor (boy). Another bishop embezzled millions of dollars from the tithing fund and a dear, dear friend of mine was molested by her father (as was her sister) and this person was not only in the bishopric but also served as a veil worker in the temple.
So when I am TOLD that I MUST sustain leaders I balk at that. I DO sustain my local leaders because I believe they are good people and my bishop is amazing. But those who judge before they know details are so wrong. Maybe they should start handing out copies of the bishops handbook. Gossiping is right below adultery because it can absolutely destroy a family and/or their faith in the church. Another example: When I was 15 my mother decided she was done with our ward. For years it had been the most gossipy ward but now it had focused the gossip on my family. Horrid (and untrue) things were said about my father, brother and other various members of my family. To this day I am the only person who has come back to church. From that same ward I had two friends whose families went through the same thing and no members from either family have ever gone back. I know there are more but since I have not attended that ward for 20 years I only know of those. Just those three families constitute 20 people not including grandkids who have come along. You cannot unring a bell so be careful about what you say and whom you say it to.

I have spoken with my (awesome) bishop about many of these (and other) things at length. He strongly dislikes the gossip and judgments that are passed without full knowledge of the situation. He has been good enough to take time and let me sort through some of these things.

I guess the bottom line is that I am very much a free thinker and I tend to really look at things before I accept them. I don't accept things just because it has been drilled into me since I started primary. I DO have to know the why's of many things. Some things I can take at face (or faith) value but some I cannot. I suppose it would be easier to have the testimony that I inherited from my parents but I would rather have my own. I question a great deal and use common sense where I feel is necessary even when it comes to things handed down in General Conference. I could never live in Utah. Maybe everyone should look up J. Golden Kimball...he was known as the swearing prophet. I could not possibly be more controversial than him!

I go against the grain and that tends to rub people the wrong way. I suppose that is why my best friends (with the exception of one) tend to be non-members. I think they understand what I go through on a daily basis and they are the ones calling to ask what they can do to help. I don't feel that I have to gloss over how crappy my day really was with them. I can be angry with God that Noah has not one but two genetic disorders and no amount of praying or priesthood blessings are going to make him better. If I said that to anyone at church (with the exception of my bishop) I think their jaw would hit the floor but sorry it is the truth.

I am not saying that I can't stand anyone I go to church with. There are some who I greatly admire but do not hang out with because of geography, schedules, etc. There are amazing people in my church who I have learned a great deal from. Many may not even know it and I should be better at letting others know. Have I mentioned that my bishop rocks?

On a happier note. Reece's grades are way up, Connor is doing great in school, Parker is in the top reading and math group in his class and Scott is rocking work.

Oh the weather!!! It has been absolutely gorgeous!!! It is so nice to throw open the windows the windows and air the winter out of the house. Suddenly you see people you haven't seen forever out walking or playing with the kids. The other day we had seven kids out front and at least that many in back.
We are going to try and sell the house in an effort to find some acreage. Apparently we are in KY for the long haul but we love it here. It is a great place for families and kids. The people are very friendly so here we are.

Well I am off to fix dinner and start the weekend!